Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Here's a list of things you should be aware of before getting balls deep in this.

  1. As long as you don't expect perfect grammar or spelling from me, I won't expect compliance or understanding from you.  I write like I speak.  You do, too.
  2. You may think what you like is controversial, hip, edgy, and cool.  For example, you may think that throwing chairs at nuns while lighting blind black babies on fire is edgy.  I call that Tuesday.  The shit that comes out of my mouth will not be so much vulgar as it is visceral.  I'm very good at creating scarring mental imagery from words alone.
  3. This is a poorly-disguised political blog designed to hijack your emotions.  Don't ever expect anything more than that.
  4. If you are addicted to pundits, talking points, sound bytes, or generally reprogramming your world view in accordance to whatever the latest news has covered, please comment often.  I will troll you to death.
  5. Do not think that the "anonymity" of the Internet protects you.  I'm the king asshole around here and I will go to great lengths to defend that title.
  6. I openly mock morality - all of it. Marxist-fueled vagina fests that douche with equality propaganda get shat on frequently.  Religious idolaters who care more about their holy symbols than what those symbols represent get crucified on the spot.  Nihilists will be abused until they fully commit to their beliefs and remove themselves physically.  Your coda is garbage and no one (especially me) gives a squirt of Jew urine about it.
  7. Sockpuppets (and their family, taxes, debt, and assets) will be traced and brought to the public domain out of spite.
  8. If you are younger than twenty-five years old, either shut the fuck up or ask intelligent questions.  That emotional sputtering you call a comment will be turned into a meme and shared with 4chan.
  9. You are useless to everyone except your loved ones.  And if you fail at even that, oh man, make sure I never find out because turning your personal failings into my amusement is my only God-given talent.
  10. Trying to hide behind altruism only makes me draw you out even more.  You're self-interested like the rest of us, you're just too weak to admit it.
Now, continue your training by reading the next entry.

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