Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Stop trusting the news

You're probably stupid.  Fortunately, that condition is curable.  Sadly, that cure requires discipline, and if you haven't cured it yet, this means you're lazy, which means you are useless, which means I hope you get front row seats to the greatest show on earth.

Yeah, I linked Russia Times as a news source.  The fuck you gonna do about it?  Leave?  Why?  Even Empress Clinton agrees that the corrupted information elemental you call news is a thousand cock sandwich served with a side of semi-cognizant medical waste.

Yeah, I linked Huffington Post as a news source, and I personally agree that the site is comprised entirely of upper middle class Leftist elitists who have spent their entire lives trying to resurrect the 1960s.  (Thank Dog we have AIDS to stop that dead in its tracks!)

Yeah, I linked Fox News as a news source, and I personally agree that it is a Neocon outlet that has hijacked the religious folk of America to manufacture their consensus to coinside with the agendas of internationalist corporations.  (And that corporate greed is powered by your insatiable gut, fatty!)

You mad, bro?  Not getting that precious, trusted information source that you pissed away hours searching for to validate that little filter bubble (Yeah, I put a link on filter bubble [Yeah, I put another link on filter bubble just to make sure your lazy ass doesn't miss it] because I'm assuming you have too many chromosomes to know what the fuck I'm talking about) you call personal preference and consumer rights?  Tough titties, peon.  Go sick a duck.

You don't control the news.  You don't have a choice in what you are fed.  You don't even do anything that's news worthy.  Fuck you.


  1. Brilliant sir, no one ever thinks that the news is just as corrupted as the oversees people call our Government. The FCC controls whats on TV and in the news, that is why I follow neither, although I do enjoy a show or two from time to time. .... now I am going way off track but,

    +1 Rep

    FUCK 'EM